Friday 14 June 2013

story openers

In the dark, gloomy forest a mysterious monster who was once an old man who died from a strange affliction wondered about in the creepy forest waiting for his next victim and haunting the nearby city people with his dastredly groan of sadness.The people who are foolish enough to stroll into into the depths of the tradgic curtain of sorrow were never heard or seen from again!!!........By Lily and Ellie May
Posted by at 04:05

1 comment:

  1. Mrs Prior21 June 2013 at 01:53

    Hi Lily and Ellie,
    You have written a very descriptive opening and I notice that you used what we call a 2A sentence which is where you put two adjectives together 'dark, gloomy forest'. I wonder what the rest of the story will be about? Just check your sentence'The people who are foolish enough...' because all your others are in the past tense and this is in the present.
    Well done. Brilliant writing.

    Mrs P

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